Dating Tips for Single Moms
The juggling act of being a single mom can be tough, especially when you add dating to the mix. But your social life is just as important as the rest and the happier and more balanced you are, the better you are for your kids.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind when you dive back into the dating scene:
Happy social life = happy everyone.
Remember that having your kids see you happy and taking care of yourself is a great way to teach by example. Everyone wins when you open the doors to new people in your life.
No excuses.
You don't need to let your kids come between you and your social life, and they don't need the pressure that puts on them. This may not be obvious, but kids will sense it if you use them as a scapegoat for not getting back out there and dating.
Take your time.
Make your first dates away from home and remember that you don't need to introduce every new guy to your kids; it can get confusing for them. Try waiting until you really like someone and are sure he is going to be a part of your life.
Just friends.
When you're ready to introduce your new guy to your kids, take it slow and try introducing him as a friend. Kids can relate to this because they have new friends too. Only when you're committed to being a family should the guy take on the role of a parent.
Plan ahead.
Find a good sitter or take advantage of shared custody so that when you go out you can be in the moment, not worried about your kids.
Expect rocky road with your ice-cream.
Be prepared for your kids not to like the guy you're dating and remember that this is okay and really quite common. Often, kids get jealous of your time or see your new man as a rejection of their Dad. Respect your kids' feelings, listen to them, and let them know that you need friends too. Whatever you do, don't let this scare you away from dating and taking care of yourself.
Be honest.
Be honest with your kids when you meet a new guy and be honest to the guys about being a single mom. It's who you are, and you should be proud!
Share.
Tell your friends what's going on with you and your new dating scene; it helps diffuse any difficulties along the way and it's also fun to share your adventures. You can also check out the numerous message boards for single moms on the web. They're usually full of smart, interesting women and an excellent spot to get ideas and tips about how to make dating work for you.
You CAN have a fun active dating life. Just give yourself a chance. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's up to you to decide when you're ready to start dating and how often. It may take some extra juggling, but once you get into the groove, it'll be well worth it.
